my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
whose ass print is on the piano?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize