never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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