Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize