She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
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How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
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You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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