I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize