wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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