I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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