I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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