no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this beer tastes like vomit already
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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