i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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