Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You were trust falling into bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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