you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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