So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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