Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize