she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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