then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
thus making me awesome and them whores
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Houston, we have a blender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize