there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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