I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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