That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize