i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize