Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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