70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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