Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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