Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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