You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
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I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
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Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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