i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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