at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think i have two assholes
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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