I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize