I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize