i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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