just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
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Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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