Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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