all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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