This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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