I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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