You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize