Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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