Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize