Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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