Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize