you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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