Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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