Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
God, I missed his penis.
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