Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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