Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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