NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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