The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize