I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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