Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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