It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He has the fingertips of a God
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